I am having difficulty controlling my weight lately. Partly due to an IUD (which isn't supposed to cause weight gain but damned if so many people experience it), age (a stones throw to 40), an injury that prevented me from exercising, and family genetics (slow metabolisms). I always knew my breaking point would be when my stomach stuck out more than my boobs. I'm here. I HAVE to do something NOW.

I bought a pair of pants around New Years as a treat for losing weight. I could barely pull them up over my butt, and I couldn't even button them. I hit a lot of road bumps in my diet and exercise plans, and I put the pants away, thinking I'd never fit into them. I found them this morning and tried them on. Not only did they easily slide up over my hips, but they buttoned up! I cried in happiness! And I also got compliments by family, friends, and even a stranger at the grocery store.

I don't want children, never have. My family has great genes, even after kids. Ex, my mom of 8 looks like Demi Moore in a bikini. No stretch marks or loose skin. Quite fair from lack of sun too. I'm really athletic now and I'm so interested to see what a kid-less body will look like when I'm old.

Last night i tried committing suicide and almost succeeded till I thought of how my friends and family would react.

i must act like everything is fine with me bf family is coming into town this week, lots of eating out...great

We were supposed to have a family get together tomorrow, but it was canceled. Im so happy though cause I always feel so fat and ugly compared to my skinny ass sisters. They dress likes hoes too so I bet my hubby checks them out.

I'm not fat, but all of my cousins on my mom's side of the family are rail thin. I'm jealous of their tiny figures. I wonder if any of them are jealous of my curvy shape.

This person I know started a FB group to help raise money to send her Aunt to The Mayo Clinic because she has Crohn's and needed to raise something like 30,000 to go there. I of course donated. A few months later the group closes. K fine maybe they raised the money? Find out a few months ago she and her family went to Mexico. Now...If she can't afford to go to the Mayo clinic, how the EFF can she go to Mexico?? I think she used the FB group to raise money for Mexico. How sick is that? I never did get my money back, grrrr!!

I have about 4 houses that I dream about. They are all huge, elaborate, and historic. One belongs to a childhood friend's family. I would love to live in any of them!

When I drink too much at night (hello Easter dinner with family followed by wine at home), I wake up EARLY. I felt like crap at 5:30am, but was wide awake, so I hit the gym before work! 65 on the elliptical? Don't mind if I do. Now if only I can do that when I *don't* overindulge the night before...